Understanding Tantra and Its Connection to Self-Love

In this episode, take a dive into the world of Tantra and its connection to self-love. Sylvia explores the multifaceted aspects of Tantra, shedding light on its history while focusing on Neo Tantra, a modern blend of ancient wisdom and contemporary life. Discover how Tantra isn't just about sexuality, but a holistic practice centered around expansiveness, self-acceptance, and compassion. While it encompasses sensuality, it's not solely about sex; it's about harnessing the life force within you and utilizing it for healing, manifestation, and personal growth.

Sylvia shares her personal journey on finding Tantra, highlighting how it transformed her life and self-love. She delves into the idea that in Tantra, everything is energy, and understanding the divine nature within ourselves is key to a tantric life. By embracing all emotions, even the so-called "negative" ones, Tantra teaches us to see the beauty in all aspects of our existence. It's about acknowledging our duality, accepting ourselves as divine beings, and extending this view to others and the world around us.

The episode mentions various Tantra practices, including self-massage, mirror work, yoga, and energy work. Sylvia touches on the circulation of energy providing insights into how these practices can help align our physical and energetic bodies. She also introduces the concept of partnered practices that can enhance relationships.

Get ready for a journey into the transformative power of Tantra and how it can be a path to profound self-love, offering practices and perspectives that can be incorporated into your own life. Sylvia's passionate and informative approach makes this episode a must-listen for those seeking to tap their feet on the water and get a quick insight into a different kind of life!

This episode is an intro, next episodes will continue to dive deeper!

Book Recommendations:
The Art of Sexual Ecstacy by Margot Anand
Love, Sex and Awakening by Margot Anand
Tantric Transformation by Osho

Other Resources:
The 7  Chakras for Beginners  

Transcript

 In this episode, we're going to go deep into understanding what Tantra is and its connection to self love. Before I dive into it, I do want to mention that Tantra can be very different to every person. Tantra has so much history and it goes way back to different lineages in India and other parts of the world, which I am not honestly educated on, and I will not touch base on all of those different lineages. I practice what it is more now  Neo Tantra, which I believe is like an in between of those old texts and practices mixed with the modern world. So I do believe that a lot of the old practices of tantra and different lineages, there's different wings, there's the left, there's the right. A lot of those involved absolute devotion to the practice. A lot of them were very religious, I do believe Tantra is extremely spiritual, and that is what makes it such a beautiful practice to incorporate into your life. But my tantra, and the  that I'm going to share here is not religious. It is not necessarily associated with a deity. It is not associated with strict rules and strict practices. Instead, it's all about expansiveness. It's all about finding pleasure in absolutely every part of your life and every part of you. Having deep self acceptance and compassion. 

And I know you guys are already like, what about sax? I know everything I've heard about Tantra is about sex. Well, that's the number one misconception. Tantra is not about sexuality only. It is part of it, in the sense that it doesn't block it. The majority of spiritual practices block our sexuality. They just completely put it to the side. The majority of religions completely block and shame our sexuality. So Tantra has become very popular in the Western world because it does put an emphasis on our sensual awakening. It is very aligned also to Kundalini and I'm going to go deeper into that in other episodes. But sex is not the main focus of Tantra, but it is part of tantra. It's not going to block it. And obviously when we come from a society in a culture that has completely shut down our sex, then people are going to want to go deep into that section of tantra, because that's where they probably most need healing. That's probably the area that they've never had any type of spiritual awakening in. So it is going to call your attention, and I'm not going to lie, I am going to touch a lot on the sexuality and mix with Tantra in this podcast, because it is a huge part of what has really awakened me and what has made me fall in love with this path and with this practice. So with that being said, we can we can already know that it's not all about that, but it is a huge part. 

We do believe in, in tantra that everything is energy and our sex energy & sensual energy is the life force of everything. It is what literally creates life. So we do give a lot of admiration & honor to that because sexual energy is beautiful energy that can be transformed into many other types of energies. It is creative energy. It is the energy that lits you up. It is the energy that you can use to manifest. It is an energy that can heal so many parts of you. It is a very beautiful side of Tantra. 

I want to go into how I got called into Tantra and how it felt on my lap. So it actually hasn't been that long. I have been in the community of yoga for a couple of years now already, probably like ten years, but I hadn't really practiced Tantra until the last two years. I had heard about it. I had seen it a little bit. It had piqued my curiosity, but it seemed something very far away from who I was at that moment, and it felt like something that I didn't even want to open the door because some part of me knew that it was going to crack me open. So I was like, nope, I'm not ready for this. So I kept  leaving it in the back burner. There was a point in my life that I was in a serious committed relationship and that interest started to knock on my door each day. It was like insane books here and there, conversations with random people. And it just kept being brought up.  I was at a point where I couldn't just ignore it. I remember bringing it up with my partner and being like," I actually want to go to a tantra couple's retreat". Because at that time, what I was hearing about Tantra was a lot about obviously sex and also about how it could transform your relationship and for the longest time I had been obsessed with relationships, and I was always reading books about relationships, listening to podcasts, and just finding ways that I could work into having more of a loving relationship with people, but mostly in romantic partnerships. And, you know, it just kept coming in. And this partner that I had was not really into this. So he also shut it down. And at that time I used that as an excuse to also shut it down, because again, it was something that I felt like it was going to crack me open. So it wasn't really until almost the end of the relationship where I started buying the books and I started reading them. I would read the books, but I wouldn't really do the practices. A lot of Tantra books, they're not these books that you just read and enjoy. You know, they're not a novel, so you actually need to put in the work like you need to actually start doing the practices. And most of these practices are either mirror work, breathwork, movement practices. Sometimes journaling, sometimes if you go real deep, they're actually sex practices also. So there's there's so much practices in this in this tantra world. At that point I was just reading and just opening my mind to it. A lot of it felt like, wow, this is it. Like this, this is this is me.  I've been wanting this for so long. A lot of the teachings just felt true in my in my body. I could feel it. And I knew that everything that I had been taught did not align with myself. And this did it, just like instantly felt like home. of course there are different teachers and obviously you're reading the words of humans, so there are going to be things that are not going to resonate with you, and it's going to happen to you in this podcast. There's going to be a lot of stuff that you're going to hear from me that it's not going to resonate with you, but if the core essence of it is resonating with you, go deep into that and listen to that calling and and try to find ways to actually incorporated more into your life. 

So anyways, long story short, the books hooked me. So then I went into the podcasts, I started listening to a lot of Tantra podcasts and it was just like thing after thing, just like everything started making sense in my life. All of my values started making sense, and I started questioning a lot of what society teaches us. And with that, I also started being called into tantra massages. And I went to a retreat and I received tantra massages. I learned more about it. (There's going to be a whole other episode explaining what Tantra massages are.) 

 I had been reading about it. I had been listening about it. I had been actually starting to do the practices in my room and going to the studios. Yoga. I had been following people talking about Tantra, and then I actually participated in a container where it was all about Tantra and Tantra massage, and I physically experienced the healing of Tantra massage. And it, just like I said, cracked me open and it just fully changed my perspective of life. My full on energy spectrum changed to the people that I started attracting were completely different and aligned with the kind of life that I had been envisioning. And my self love just exponentially grew because I had this basis of a practice that I could use to go deeper into that and just to start seeing parts of myself that I hadn't been really giving light to and just making love to that. So at this point, after just physically embodying it, it was just like, this is it. 

And then, you know, I was like, okay, I want to get a tantra coach. I got like a group coaching for a couple of months. And it was really amazing. And again, these containers just start cracking you open and you start questioning different truths that you had and realizing that they're not really you. And you start  being in the constant practice of devotion to yourself and to this new practice. So after that, it was just like, I'm hooked and I actually want to share with the world all of this because it is just so powerful and there's not enough people talking about it. And you might say there's so many podcasts in the world, but there are not enough people talking about tantra, sensual awakening, deep committed loving relationship with yourself and with other people. So here I am. 

 Back to the juicy topic. Tantra for me is just like making love to life in the sense that we as humans are alive, and being alive means that we get to experience the full spectrum of all the emotions. The majority of people, especially in the healing world, are trying to attach to specific emotions like love, all of the positive ones if you want to say that. But it is actually letting go of the concept that emotions are either positive or negative, and that emotions just are. And they are what show us that we are alive. We are emotional beings. In tantra, you accept that all of the emotions, all of the spectrum, the good, the hard, the beautiful, "what you might think is not that beautiful but is actually beautiful, it's just society telling you that it's not beautiful" it's beautiful, you know? So in Tantra, you just see life with a different lens. You start questioning your old paradigms, your old beliefs, and you start reframing them. And you also do that with yourself. And this is the connection to self love. 

In order for you to love yourself, you need to accept every part of you as a beautiful divine being and Tantra. We love to use the word "divine" and "to honor" because we are part of God. We are God. So this is what kind of shakes a little bit, you know, this religious side that we're so taught that God is something outside of us, that God energy is something that you need to follow outside and search for. But in Tantra, we believe that everything comes from the same energy. Thus everything is part of the whole and we are God. And it's not in this narcissistic way of like, oh my God, I am God. I am better than everyone else. No, because all of them are also God. All of nature is also God. All of other humans are also God. And then you see the divinity in you, but you also see it in everyone else and in everything else. So then your view of other people completely changes. And that's how also your view of sex changes, because you're now entering a sacred container where you're devoting your physical body that is a God to another God. And you guys are exchanging your beautiful divine energy with each other. I mean, that is insane and beautiful and absolutely just amazing. And when you start seeing everyone else with that lens,  your self love comes in, because when you have admiration and you have compassion and you feel this deep honoring for the other and for you. What is that? That is love. That is deep rooted love. So then you'll notice that all of these tantricas are constantly in states of love and admiration and joy. And it's not because they're bashing away all of the hard stuff. No, they're actually going phase into all of that. So now with this new lens, when sadness comes in, when grief comes in, when anger comes in, I make love to it. I'm not trying to repress it. I'm not trying to hide it. I am actually bringing it up to the surface and I'm not trying to heal it. That's the thing in this healing world, we want to heal all of our traumas. And that's beautiful. I see the importance of that. But we can't see ourselves as broken. And in Tantra, you don't see it that way. You don't see all of this negative parts of yourself that you need to work on in order to manifest this beautiful life. You actually see all of that as part of you. You see the duality. 

So Tantra really believes in duality between the feminine and the masculine energy. And I'm going to touch a lot on this, but the feminine energy is not related to being a woman.  Feminine energy is an energy. Masculine energy is an energy. Whether you are male, female or any other on the spectrum, you will have the duality of both energies in you. And each energy carries different qualities and characteristics. And again, I am not talking about society characteristics of oh, if you're feminine, you dress this way, if you're masculine, you dress this way. No, I'm talking about deep traits like creativity, leadership, intuition. And I'll go way deeper on this later. But in Tantra, we believe that the core essence of living this expansive life is finding balance between those two energies and finding balance between all of the duality. So between the light and between the darkness. So the same goes with the emotions.

 You start seeing the beauty in the anger. You start seeing the beauty in the sadness, and you see all the lessons in all of the spectrum. So when when you're going deep into living a tantric life, you're actually just accepting that anything that comes is divine. Anything that comes is sacred. Anything that comes is absolutely perfect. And any side of you has all of those qualities too. So then this applies to your body too. To your personality. This applies to your relationships. This just applies to absolutely everything. So then you can incorporate all of these self-love practices as also tantra practices there. To me they just go hand in hand. 

I know a lot of people who think they don't know anything about Tantra, but they're actually practicing a lot of tantra in their daily life, and that's beautiful. You know, it doesn't need to be called tantra. For me, that was just a word that resonated with everything. And  I just sticked with that word. But it can be anything else. You know, you just need to find what is the core belief that you want to stick to. What is the core life perspective that you want to have? And whether it is this neo tantra model or it is any other tantra or any other self love and a expansive model, it's going to give you the same benefits of a tantric life. 

I know you might be wondering, Sylvia. I get the meaning, I get the philosophy. But give me more. Like 1 on 1. Give me more. How can I actually implement this in my life? Like what are the actual practices? So again, there are a lot and they're going to vary between different lineages and teachers. But the ones that I have personally dived into are definitely Self-massage, Tantra massage, a lot of mirror work.
 So mirror work is  when you're actually looking yourself in the mirror and you start either bringing up affirmations, or you start just noticing areas of yourself that you don't necessarily like. But then you start reframing that. You start speaking loving words. You just start looking at yourself, and again, you start looking at yourself with this lens of I am a goddess and "oh my God, that is my hair" " those are my eyes. They all came from this beautiful energy"  And you just start speaking that light into you. And the more you do it, the more you'll you'll start loving each part of yourself. So yeah, there's also a lot of yoga involved. There's  actually tantra yoga. So Kundalini practices that can can be measured in,  there's also Tibetan practices. There's a lot of energy work. 

So in Tantra we truly believe in the chakra systems, as the majority of all the yoga spectrum and a lot of the healing world,and the chakras are this energetic centers that we have in our energetic bodies. So we have our physical body, and then we also have our energetic body, and we have seven of those chakras, and they are all aligned in the center. And we start in the root. So at the bottom, and then we start going all the way up towards the crown of our head. And all of these chakras, they have certain qualities. They, they focus on different areas of your life. Some are more related to , love, others are more related  to being rooted down, to having your your core necessities taking care of. And I can share a lot of resources that go deeper into the whole chakra system. What each chakra touches and their meaning, their colors, where exactly they are, and how you can pour energy into them and actually have them in alignment. But the core belief of tantra is that you can move energy from your root, from your sex, all the way up into your crown. And as you go up, you start going higher and higher in this expansiveness world and this orgasmic world with sex practices, you can pull that energy up. And as you pull it up, you can also heal your body, like your physical body and also your energetic body. Because as we know, we hold trauma, we hold a lot of stuff in our energetic bodies and our physical body. So that, I believe, is kind of one of the main tantra practices, which is practicing moving that energy and creating like a circular flow. There's even practices that you do partnered where you both share that energy and you're able to cross it over. And you can do this in the yab-yum pose, which is actually very powerful and very known in the tantra world and is a practice that you can do while having intercourse. Or you can also just do a certain yoga pose and you can circulate that energy, and then you start actually being in union with that partner. And this is something that can truly transform relationships, because you're fully moving all of the energy and you're able to actually work through really hard stuff together when you tap into this alignment. But of course, all of those practices can be done either alone or in also in partnership. So yeah, there's also a lot of questioning and reprogramming. So it's not really like this specific practice that you're going to do. It's just a combination of a lot of them. I recommend a lot some books from Margot Anand, and I'm going to put a lot of this stuff in the in the resources section in the podcast, but there's been very key books that have really transformed my relationship with myself, with self love, and with having this new lens of life. And they have absolutely amazing practices. I am also starting now a Tantra coach certification related to love, relationships, sexual awakening. So I'll definitely be learning a lot more tantra practices that I'll be putting into work. And then I can also share if if they have a specific impact and and they resonate with me. So stay tuned.