Exploring Tantra Massage: Debunking Misconceptions on Sacred Bodywork & Embarking on a Personal Transformation

In this podcast episode, Sylvia shares her basic insights on Tantric Bodywork aka Tantra Massage. She emphasizes that Tantra Massage, just like the Tantric Philosophy, embraces sex as a natural and sacred part of life. The episode addresses common misconceptions, highlighting that it is not about seeking a happy ending. Instead, it is a form of bodywork within a sacred container that can move sexual energy allowing for deep healing throughout the physical & spiritual body. 

The podcast explains that tantric bodywork involves a full-body massage, including the yoni and lingam. The host acknowledges that this aspect has contributed to the controversial reputation of Tantra massage. The episode outlines key points, such as the importance of communication during the massage & the basic set up. 

Sylvia emphasizes that the goal of the massage is not necessarily orgasm but the movement of energy and emotional release. The episode also details the booking process, the intimate setting for the massage, and the practitioner's efforts to create a clean and comfortable space.

She shares a quick dive into all of her personal experiences receiving tantric bodywork including the emotional and transformative aspects of the sessions.

The podcast concludes with a reminder for listeners to do thorough research before choosing a practitioner and to follow their intuition in exploring Tantra massage.

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Transcript

So now that you know more about Tantra. Now that you're curious, now that you really want to explore this lifestyle, I want to touch more into what is a tantra massage, what is tantric bodywork? And this can be a little bit controversial. So please bear with me. And it's no coincidence that this episode is coming out the day that I am starting a tantra massage training in Mexico. So last year I was receiving tantric body work and it fully changed my life. And this year, around the same date, I am actually getting trained on how to facilitate tantric body work. So full circle. Very beautiful. And I'm just so, so excited for this. And I know that amazing things are going to happen. I know that there are so many unis out there that need healing and need love, so I'm ready to to be there for them. So yeah. Um, hope you can feel that too. Do you remember in the first episode when I said that in Tantra, we believe that sex is part of it? You know, like we give emphasis to sex. We don't shame it. We don't block it. We don't talk it below. We don't put it to the side. We embrace it. We make it part of the movement. We acknowledge it, we honor it. We had Maya it. We fucking love it, you know? So that is the philosophy of tantra. What do you think happens in tantric body work? Same thing. We do not ignore it. We do not shame it. We admire it and we honor it. So yes, tantric body work focuses in all of the body, including the yoni, which is the vagina, the vulva. It also touches the lingam, which is the dick, the penis, however you want to call it. This is one of the main reasons why tantric body work has such a bad rep in some places. And this is why I'm going to touch first. And what are all the misconceptions of Tantra massage? And you know, Tantra is just a word and some people tie it to some stuff. So I've seen spas that have the word tantra, and that for me is really not tantric body work, at least not the one that I have been taught and not the one that I have received, not the one that I'm going to be talking about in this episode. So going into the misconceptions, number one, you are not having sex with the facilitator, or the facilitator is not having sex with you. There is no exchange. You're not having sex with the practitioner. That's just not happening. This is body work. This is a sacred container. This is professional you are receiving. There is absolutely no sexual context between the facilitator and you. Now, misconception number two, this is not a happy ending massage. The goal of the massage is not for you to come as not for you to orgasm. Now. This is not black and white. It can happen. It is not the goal. It is not what the practitioner is looking for. It is not what you should be expecting to receive. But it can happen because in tantric bodywork everything is welcome. All of the emotions, all of the sensations are welcome. You're in a safe container and you are invited to feel pleasure. The female can have an orgasmic session and the same thing can happen to the male. It may happen more like the guy has a full body orgasm rather than your traditional like mating. Just because the way the massage is done is not a handjob. Now that we have that out there, number one, you're not having sex with a practitioner. Number two, this is not a happy ending. Massage. And number three, you don't need to do the actual genital massage. You don't need to do the yoni. You don't need to do the lingam in order to have the tantric massage. The massage lasts around three hours and it is a full body massage, so it takes everything into consideration including that. But that is not the main focus of the massage only now. Yes, there is so many benefits in yoni armoring and yoni mapping. So yes, that that is part of the massage and you're invited to do so. You can always say no, you have total control of the massage and you're in a safe container. The practitioner focuses on the full body. And then the last thing would be the yoni or the lingam. So before they even go into that, they touch base with you. They ask you, do you want to continue into a yoni massage or a lingam massage? And you can say, yes, I would like to proceed. No. They make sure that you are fully present, that you have your eyes open. They are not dissociating and again you can say yes. Five minutes later, change your mind and be like, you know what? I actually don't want to receive it anymore. And that's totally okay, totally acceptable and honored. And that's beautiful. And the practitioner must listen to you and be like, okay, perfect, no problem at all. So now that you know the basic misconceptions, I want to go over the rundown of the message. What can you expect when you book a massage? So the first thing would be the booking process. And this for you might be like, you know, like I've booked massages all the time and it's super easy. Maybe you go to a website, you pay and it's like super straightforward. You go to a spa center and that's it. But in a tantra massage, since it is a bit more intimate and vulnerable, not just for the client but also for the practitioner, it is very important that they both vet each other out, and the petitioner needs to make sure that the client has the right expectations, because again, there's a common misconception that this is a happy ending massage or that this is. Something that it isn't. So the practitioner really needs to make sure that whoever they're going to open their space to and is actually aware of what they're getting into and is aligned with them. This might look like having a FaceTime call, a video chat, maybe talking on the phone, maybe a previous meetup where they just ask you questions of what you're looking for, why you were called to do this massage. What do you know about a Tantra massage? They might explain the rundown of the massage so that you feel comfortable. They might go a little bit deeper if it if it marries it into what you maybe want to release, what maybe you want to work on, since this is a very energetic massage. And that way the practitioner also knows what you you might be working on. This might be something short, maybe a ten minute, 15 minute thing. And you should both feel very good after this conversation. And if you don't stop it there, you don't need to go any further. You don't need to commit to the massage. That is why you have that vetting process. And you can always say no. And the practitioner also has the right to say no and be like, you know what, I don't think we're in the same place. I don't think we are aligned. I'd rather not offer this tantra massage to you. Or it may be this seems too much right now. Maybe we can do something different. Whatever the case. Now saying everything goes well and the tantra massage is happening. This will probably be held in the home of the practitioner or private studio. It is very rare to have tantra massages in a traditional spa container, because it is not really associated with the traditional massage school certifications or anything like that. So it's very common to just receive a tantra massage in a home. But the very important thing is that wherever the space is feels that it is energetically clean. The practitioner should take the time to make it a cozy space, very clean, very sensual in a way. It can have dim lights, it can have mirrors, it can have sheets, and the massage is going to take place on the floor. So this is very similar to like the thigh massages that they have, like a mat on the floor you would be laying down in the floor you have some sheets maybe some sarongs. You would be fully naked, or maybe you can have your underwear or your bikini, and the facilitator might even ask you to take a shower before the massage starts, just to make sure that you're energetically cleaned, that you're really ready for that space. I loved receiving these showers before. It's like that moment that I can actually be like, okay, um, releasing any fear and releasing any expectation. Let the water wash me and I'm ready to go into this. The rundown is pretty much they start on your back, they do your legs. There's a lot of soft, sensual touch. So they're not working on your muscles or not alleviating any knots or anything like that. It's more light. It's a very light touch and there's a lot of oil, so there's a lot of coconut oil involved. It might not be coconut oil, it might be another one. That's my personal preference. And just say, you know, yes, there's coconut oil introduced into the yoni. This is very safe. Actually. Coconut oil is my favorite lubricant. So yeah, the massage is going to be very oily, very sensual, very light touch. There might be tapping. There's a lot of marma point pressures that are going to be touched. These pressures can be a little bit uncomfortable at one point, because you're not used to being touched for a long period of time, maybe in those areas, but that is just activating the energy. So the whole point of the massage is to move energy. Just like in Tantra, the point of the massage is to move energy through your chakras, activating your Marma points, and just release anything that is not serving you and allow the flow of the sexual energy to heal you. The goal is not the orgasm, it's just the movement of that energy. That movement of energy can be orgasmic and can actually give you an orgasm. But again, that's not the goal. The whole tantra massage honestly, is very intuitive. There is a a guide, there's steps that you follow, there's techniques that you follow, but the practitioner also develops an intuition of where the energy is moving. They can start reading your body and noticing whether with temperature, whether with your noises, whether with your specific movements, they can notice any stagnant energy and maybe focus a little bit more in that area to move that up. Maybe they start noticing movement of energy and they start playing with it to help you to allow that more flow to go faster, more expansive, so it can be very joyful. But it can also be all of the other ranges of the emotion spectrum. Anything is welcome. Like I said before, you can have a tantra massage that is very orgasmic, that you have tons of pleasure, but you can also have tantra massages that are actually uncomfortable. Um, painful stuff comes up that maybe you were not expecting for it to come. Maybe you have a lot of tears. Maybe you're super sad, maybe you're angry and you want to scream, or you want to kind of like roar. And all of that is welcome. Throughout the whole massage, the practitioner is going to be inviting you to stay connected to your breath, to constantly come back to your breath, and throughout the hours, in the minutes, they're going to invite you to move with that breath. They're going to guide you. They're going to maybe ask you to breathe out loud, to moan, to scream, because they might notice that there's a blockage and they want to help you to move past it. Okay. So you're not just like falling asleep on this massage, although you can, because again, it can be very blissful and relaxed and you might sort of like fall asleep like in a traditional massage, but usually you are present in the space and there's conversation, especially in the in the yoni, in the lingam massage, the practitioner speaks to you, ask you about the pressure, ask you what you're feeling, might ask you if you feel anything there, or to verbalize where you're feeling it. So during the yoni massage, for example, there's the techniques of yoni mapping and yoni the armoring. And they might be doing this either with their bare hands, like with their fingers, they might introduce 1 or 2 fingers, or they might also use a wand. Some practitioners use gloves when they use their fingers. I personally don't enjoy tantra massages with gloves or me as a facilitator giving massages with gloves because I know there's a huge level of intuition that is lost when you don't have that direct contact to contact. So yes, the practitioner needs to be very safe and very aware of washing their hands. They make sure that their nails are super short, they're very clean. They have a ritual of cleaning before and after the massage to make sure that. There's nothing past. Um, but the main thing of the uni de armoring, or uni mapping is creating awareness and connection between you and your uni. So a lot of women, when they receive uni massage, they actually don't feel anything. They might not feel pain, they might not feel any discomfort. They just don't feel anything. They're like fully numb. And if maybe this is you, I want you to know that is totally normal. I had that experience to my first massages. I was like super numb. And it really helped me to understand that the reason why I was numb was because my body was protecting me. Maybe there were points in my life where I was penetrated too hard or I wasn't touched. The nicest way. And my yoni, in order to protect me from the pain, numbed itself and shut down to protect me. So when I look at it as well, like this means that my body is actually functioning at its best. It is doing the smartest thing. It knows how to do it. It is trying to protect me. I don't see it as I'm broken or there's something wrong with me. Instead, I see it as wow, like she's so fucking nice to me. Like even when I didn't have a connection with her, even when I did, I know what was going on, and I was putting people inside of her that were not treating her the best way. She was so nice to me. She was so focused on helping me and protecting me that she numbed herself. Wow. Like she's so smart. But now I get to be this person who has more tools and who has better awareness, and who now knows the precious gift that she is, and now honors her and admires her and is not putting anyone inside of her that does not treat her well or not doing anything that doesn't serve her. So now she can trust me, and I can let her know that she can start opening up and she can start waking up. So during those massages, the practitioner is helping you breathe and connect with your yoni and tap into the power of the yoni and tap into what you're feeling and tap into the sensations. And maybe when she starts waking up. You start feeling pain and maybe it's not good. Maybe you don't like what you feel, but you're feeling. And I always say, in order to feel the pleasure, you need to also feel the pain. In order to feel this ecstatic bliss, orgasmic bliss. You need to be open for the pain too, and usually the way that the massages work when you've been closed down. As you start waking up, you start feeling pain and then you start feeling the pleasure. After you breathe through the pain, after you start releasing, then she can open up to pleasure. So during the yoni mapping, there's like this technique where they do like a clock and the practitioner might put their finger like, let's say 6 p.m. and they might ask you, hey, where do you where do you feel the sensations right now? Tell me the hour and try to visualize where I'm touching you. And you might say 3 p.m. because you have no idea. Like that connection is not really strong right now. You don't have that awareness of your yoni inside. You really don't. And that's totally okay. And they're gonna guide you and they tell you, oh, it was actually 6 p.m. and now you kind of start connecting. They might press their finger at a point where you feel tension and you should tell them, hey, I feel tension there. And they might be, okay, I'm going to stay here. Do you want to work here? And you can let them know if you do or you don't. And if you do, they might stay pressuring that point and guiding your breath. And I had an experience, one of my most powerful massages. There was a pressure point around like 2 p.m. and it was like beating, like I could really feel it. And she stayed with me pressuring, and I started to breathe and breathe, and I started coughing and coughing, and I literally had to, like, almost throw up. I just felt so much coming up from that pressure. I really felt like I was releasing it, and after a while I don't feel I need any tension there. I actually can feel pleasure in the 2 p.m.. So yeah, this is very powerful and this is one of the parts that I feel like there's so much work you can do mentally, but your body keeps the score in your body stores memories, your body stores energies. There's so much benefit in receiving body work. In the same way, your back needs tender loving care your shoulders, your neck, your scalp. So does your yoni. So does your lingam. So does every single area of your body. Not just the physical one, but also the energetic one. And that's what I. However, by the tantra massages, they just take on everything. They give love to everything. They don't leave one spot untouched and it's also such a spiritual massage. The practitioners take so much time to connect with you, to send you their energy, to pour their healing energy through their hands into you, to the point that it's almost like a Reiki session too. Like I feel like a Tantra massage is like an Bianka like and are you Vedic? A Bianca massage mixed with sensual energetic massage mixed with Reiki all at the same time, which is so powerful and just oh, I just love it and I'm so, so excited for more people around the world to receive this medicine. But before you go out there and book a tantrum massage session, please do your research. Please stalk the practitioner. Like really do. Please touch base with them and really follow your intuition. Doesn't matter if you've had three friends receiving massages with them and they all loved it. If you have a gut feeling of no no is no, follow that there's no rush to get into this work. Tantra massage is not going anywhere. You can always speak with a practitioner and be like, I actually just want to receive the massage without the yoni or the lingam, and they can, they can go ahead and do that for you. Just make sure that you do your research and you're very in tune of who you're opening up to. And now that you know the rundown of how the massage goes, I want to share with you a little bit of my personal experiences with the massages that I've taken first. Um, I'm a little bit crazy, and my first tantra massage was not in a one on one container. It was actually in a retreat container that. Now, looking back, I'm like, girl like, seriously, like you had to go, like all in. Of course you did. But I don't necessarily recommend this to everyone. I feel like if you feel like this is something that scares you a little bit, but you still feel called to it, just do a one on one session with a practitioner and it's going to be great. But yeah, I had my first Tantra massages in a retreat container. It was a retreat that was focused on learning how to do the massages. So we would have like a lecture. We would then see the demonstration. So the facilitator would do the massage to one of the volunteers. And then we would be like partnered up. There were females, males, all of it. And you would either give first and then receive or the other way or. Around and it was kind of divided. So since it was more like in a learning container, we first, for example, learn to do the back massage. We learned the leg massage the next day, we learn the chest massage. We then learn the front of the legs tool. Then we learn the yoni or the lingam until at the end, we had the whole session fully together and actually received a full body tantric massage. And my first yoni massage per se in that container was with a male. And honestly, I was crying the whole time, but not crying in a bad way. Crying of just so much gratitude and just feeling so safe. So just to give you a little bit more context, he did the whole, um, body massage, right? It was great. Super relaxing. That's the point of actually doing the whole body, which is actually to relax all of your body and allow your body to calm down your nervous system, activate the energy, and then go into the power of the yoni. And when he was about to go into the yoni, when he asked me if I'm ready and I say yes, I have my sarong on, he's close to me like this is a very intimate massage. Like get ready. Like you're like really, really close. And like, I had my legs, like, resting on top of his legs. And he was, like, facing me. And like, my yoni is sort of, like, in his eye level, and he's just placing his hands energetically on top of my yoni. And I had my sarong on, and I was just feeling his warmth, and that was already enough for me to start balling. I was just crying because I had never been in a container where I felt like I had the male energy fully honoring, fully respecting me and me knowing that I had like full control over what was going to happen. The fact that I knew to my core that I could say at any moment stop and he would stop. The fact that I knew that I was totally safe, the fact that I knew that I could say go slower, go deeper. And he would just do that because all he wanted was to give me what I wanted and to allow me to fully experience this. He wasn't gaining anything out of this. I feel like that's one of the most powerful things about tantra massage. You're able to just lay down on a mat and receive, and you don't need to think about anything like the only times are our knees and our lingam are touch are in a sexual act. No one touches our yoni without receiving anything in exchange unless you're in a massage container. Is very rare to receive that. So that was just so healing. Like you can have someone touch your breasts in a massage in a wellness center, and you know that. It's not sexual, but you never have someone touching your yoni without it being sexual and much less a male. So that for me was like insanely profound just being in that container. So after I was like bawling and the whole thing after I was able to, like, really release that and sort of like enjoy that and enjoy that presence. Then I asked him to continue. He removed the sarong and he started the techniques and he didn't really, like, even go in like that first yoni massage. There was no finger penetration, no one. He would just stayed in the outer section. And that was enough for me. And I had so much release and just so much stuff coming up. Then my second Tantra massage was was actually performed by a female, and this one was sort of more clinical. She did go inside. We did the yoni mapping, the yoni, the armoring. We did the clock technique and and I was very like in tune with her because we were also in a learning container. So she wanted to learn like, does this pressure feel good that this feel right? And I was very, very tapped in with her. And that was very beautiful. To be in a space where I knew, like, this woman is magical and she's doing such amazing things for other women, and she's learning to do this now, and I get to have my body here as a place for her to practice. And it was really inspiring. And then my third one was both with a female and a male. So the female was kind of doing the yoni while the male was caressing my hair, my chest, my shoulders, and just really being very cozy, warm, tender, just giving me a lot of love, honestly, like taking care of me. And that one was amazing. Like that one was the first one that I actually felt pain and and like, move through it and then started feeling lots of pleasure and it kind of like awakened me. Like it started like roaring, like a cry. But I wanted to move. I wanted to take my tongue out, just like release in more ways. And then the next one, which was actually the one that I did outside of the retreat container, which this one is more like a one on one container most likely would. You might be receiving. This one was with a female and she was amazing. She has such great intuition, like she really knew where to touch, what time. I felt like she was like reading my mind. I would have moments where I would feel stuck and she would be like, scream, say it out loud. It'll be like, is she like in my head? And I felt a lot of tension there and like, pain. And she was guiding me to breathe and I started coughing and I really felt so much on my throat. She was touching my yoni, but I was feeling it in my throat. And I could feel the huge not that I had in my throat. And she started telling me. Say it out loud, like say no out loud to all the people who you never said no. Like say it. And I was like, oh, and obviously I did. And I felt like I released so much. Each time after I receive a tantra massage, I just feel lighter. So much weight was taken away and I feel like more openness, more expansiveness, more sensation. Like each time I feel like my yoni awakens more, especially females. Like we store so much in our units that we need to give them love without expectation, without the drama that comes from sexual intercourse, and with someone who is there to just give you a safe container and hold you. I can't wait to share more with you guys of how it goes out in the world of actually offering this to to my community. If this feels like something that you're very curious about, you want to learn more? I know you probably have a lot of questions. I didn't go as deep as you might have wanted. Please reach out to me. Let me know if you have a specific questions of maybe if this is the right fit for you, if this actually would be something that would benefit you. There's there's a lot of women with different conditions, different traumas, different experiences. Same with guys. So, you know, feel free to reach out to ask me to let me know how this resonated with you. If you feel like call to do this, if maybe you have done it before, and maybe your experience has been very different from the experience that I have shared here, I'm very curious to know what is out there and what you guys are actually experiencing. Thank you for tuning in! I'm so excited to share more after I come back from this amazing training.